Be Confident!

9 Tishrei

I'd like to share a mashal that my wife shared with me (i think she got it from Aish, but i'm not sure).

Yom Kippur is like boarding an airplane. Nowadays, there is crazy security before we get on a plane. We stand on a single-file line, passing through intense inspections. We walk through a metal detector, passing our carry-on luggage and baggage through and even more intense x-ray machine. We're patted down, prodded, and poked before we get on the plane. We take our shoes off, and have them checked as well, praying there isn't a problem.

So too on Yom Kippur. We all pass before HKBH, single-file, and stand as He runs us through intense inspection. Our actions are examined, our words, our thoughts - everything passes through His x-ray machine. We stand there, praying that we pass through, terrified at the thought of being held up.

But you know what? At the end, everyone gets on the plane. We might have to pass through the metal detector once or twice or three times, we might have to be patted down with a metal sensor, but in the end, almost everyone gets on the plane. This is the attitude that we are supposed to have on Yom Kippur - a trepidation that we're in front of HKBH, the Ultimate Judge, but happiness and excitement that we HAVE Hashem, Who is all-forgiving and ready to accept us.

iyH all our prayers should be answered, and we should be zoche to a gmar chasima tova and a shana tova, Kein Yehi Ratzon.

(BTW, teshuva continues until Hoshana Raba! Look for more posts until the end of succos...)

A Lost Aspect of Teshuva

8 Tishrei

Very often, we approach Yom Kippur with a focus on repairing our relationship with HKBH, with growing spiritually and rededicating ourselves to His service. However, there is an aspect of teshuva that is terribly overlooked.

Chazal tell us that the 1st Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of the Big Three - Murder, Incest, and Idol Worship. Those were aveiros ben adam lamakom, between man and God. The 2nd Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam, baseless hatred, sins between man and fellow man.

Which galus lasted longer? After the 1st Beis HaMikdash, Bnei Yisrael returned to Eretz Yisrael after 70 years. After the 2nd Beis HaMikdash, Bnei Yisrael returned to Eretz Yisrael... never. We are still in galus now, over 2000 years later.

We must take care to improve our Bein Adam L'Chaveiro yiddishkeit, as well. We all have middos that we can improve and work at. Pick one to start off with, and show Hashem how we're trying to improve in ALL facets of Yiddishkeit.

Hatzlacha Raba!

The Little Things

7 Tishrei

BTW - there was a comment posted yesterday in the article "The Slow Process", I published a response next to the comment. Great question.

In the beginning of Parshas Eikev, the Torah delineates quite clearly the reward of those who follow the mitzvos. I will refer you to those psukim instead of quoting them here - just the first few psukim there. The Torah basically says "Do this, and I (HKBH) will take care of you."

Rashi there explains that "Eikev" is lashon of "Akeiv," or foot. The mitzvos that HKBH is asking us to do here in order to receive this blessing are the small mitzvos, the mitzvos that we "step on with our feet" and overlook them. The message is that if we do the little things, the simple mitzvos, HKBH will bestow lavish blessings upon us.

How powerful is this Rashi! HKBH is not asking us to be Oker Harim, uproot mountains. Just a few small mitzvos! Give some tzedaka, smile at someone, learn for an extra minute. This is all HKBH is asking in order to bless us. Don't let the Yetzer Hara convince you that the little things don't matter - they matter a great deal!

Gmar Chasima Tova.

Rabbi Elazar Ben Dudaya II

6 Tishrei

I will refer you back to the story of Rabbi Elazar Ben Dudaya - read that, then come back.

Very quickly - How much mesiras nefesh did Elazar Ben Dudaya go through to get what he wanted?! And he wanted something terrible! Yet he gave up so much money, time, and effort to achieve his goal.

How much more so can we put even the smallest of extra effort to do mitzvos and teshuva.

The Yetzer Hara's trap

5 Tishrei

Disclaimer - the following is just a bit of musing on my part, not necessarily related to Torah sources. Merely what I perceive to be true.

Nowadays, it appears to me that we don't really have ta'avahs (strong desires) to do terrible aveiros. I don't really want to kill anyone. I don't deliberately want to violate Shabbos (I may violate it because of my own ignorance, chas veshalom, but I definitely don't WANT to violate it). I don't want to bow down to Buddha or what-have-you. I don't feel a great need to kidnap anybody.

It seems to me that the ta'avah to violate many of the severe aveiros is gone, at least in my experience. The Yetzer Hara to perform these mitzvos has, well, lessened, if you will. It would be ludicrous for the Yetzer Hara to try to convince me to bow down to a cow, for example, like the Hindus. Baruch Hashem. Yes, there are certainly aveiros for which I have a great ta'avah for. But it seems that many of the aveiros chamuros, the severe sins, are not as appealing anymore.

But what does the Yetzer Hara do nowadays that he probably didn't need to do back in the day? The Yetzer Hara is GREAT at making us feel lousy about ourselves, at attacking our self-esteem. He makes us feel like we don't matter, and that we don't have to keep halacha because, on the grand scheme of things, we don't matter. He has a great ability to convince us NOT to do mitzvos.

Our self-esteem is very important. Very often it gets a bad rap - in the mussar sefarim, for example, a lot is written about avoiding ga'avah (pride) and kavod (honor). Humble yourselves, write the gedolim, and therefore serve Hashem. While this is definitely true and a great lesson, it is important not to lose focus - humility does not mean degrading yourself to feel like you are nothing. Humility, in the words of the Ramban, is recognizing how great you are, but also WHY you are great - because HKBH makes you great. Humility is a great violinist realizing that his talent is not his own, but Hashem's.

We often feel so bad about ourselves that we avoid mitzvos - what's the point? I'm just a bum anyway, who cares whether I learn my five-minute mussar chavrusa over the phone? I don't have to do shnayim mikrah, i never finish it anyway, so who cares? NO! That is the Yetzer Hara, trying to make us lose all self-confidence!

Keep your self-esteem, recognize your gifts - just realize Who they came from. We are all incredibly special people, and every mitzvah we do helps us get closer to HKBH. Col Yisrael Araivim Zeh LaZeh - each mitzvah we do helps everyone else! Be excited about your own specialness, and fight off that lack of self-esteem that the Yetzer Hara is planting within you. Hatzlacha Raba!

Rabbi Elazar Ben Dudaya

4 Tishrei

For those interested, this blog will bli neder be kept daily up until Yom Kippur.

Many of us get discouraged when we think of Teshuva. We write down just a few of our faults, our sins, and we realize that we have a very long way to go. How can we not give up hope? The following story, told in the Gmara Avodah Zara, tells us that anyone - yes, even you - can do a full teshuva.

The Gmara tells a story about Elazar ben Dudaya, someone far away from being called Rabbi. Elazar ben Dudaya had a hobby. Just like I used to collect baseball cards, Elazar ben Dudaya collected zonahs, or prostitutes. There was not one zonah in the world that he had not visited at least once.

Then Elazar ben Dudaya heard of a zonah in a far-off land, a woman who charged a whole purse of gold for her services. Elazar ben Dudaya rushed to rent a boat and a crew. He crossed seven rivers and many lands to reach this one far-off zonah.

(Paranthentically, one can learn another middah from Elazar ben Dudaya - mesiras nefesh. How often do we half-heartedly perform mitzvos? While Elazar ben Dudaya was willing to cross seven oceans, pay a whole bag of money, and be completely moser nefesh to that which he wanted. If we had half the moser nefesh that Elazar ben Dudaya had... But that's a discussion for another time...)

Elazar ben Dudaya finally reached the zonah, and paid her the bag of money. Just then, a strange thing happened. Elazar ben Dudaya passed gas, and the zonah commented on it. She said, just like that gas will evaporate and be gone from the world, so too Elazar ben Dudaya.

These words had a profound impact on him. Elazar ben Dudaya left the zonah without doing the aveirah, and went into a valley to think. He was in big trouble! He needed to do teshuva! But he didn't know where to start. So he asked the Earth and Sky - help me! But the Shamayim Va'Aretz said, "We have to worry about our own skin, we can't help you!" Elazar ben Dudaya turned to the sun and moon and said, help me! Assist me in teshuva!" But the sun and moon also had to worry about themselves and could not help him. Elazar ben Dudaya turned to the mountains, the valleys, but they too declined to help him. So finally Elazar ben Dudaya realized, "Ain HaDavar Talui Ela Bi" - the matter is solely dependant upon myself. With that, Elazar ben Dudaya put his head between his knees, and cried such a deep cry that his soul departed him. At that, a bas-kol came out of shamayim and said, "RABBI Elazar ben Dudaya is zoche to Chayei Olam HaBah."

There are many lessons from this story, but the one that we'll take now is this - if Rabbi Elazar ben Dudaya could do a complete teshuva, certainly we can as well!

gmar chasima tova.

The Slow Process

When we daven on Yom Kippur, we sincerely tell HKBH that we want to do teshuva. We want to grow, we want to change, we want to do more mitzvot. Yet, right after all those "al-cheit"s, we go back to doing the same aveiros again and again. Why?

Perhaps the answer lies in an idea discussed by R' Yisrael Salanter. He explains that most people try to do Teshuva all at once. People sincerely feel remorseful, they want to change, and they take upon themselves way too many things. They try to snap their fingers and change overnight, and that's not how to do teshuva.

Teshuva is a long process. We cannot change ourselves overnight - Yom Kippur is not a mikveh where we jump in, jump out, and we're completely tahor. We are forgiven for our past sins, iyH, but we will continue to do them if we do not PLAN for the future.

As such, R' Yisrael Salanter suggests that we make a plan of action. Take 3-5 things, small things, things that you can easily accomplish, and do them every single day. Call your mom, if you're not at home. Bench with a bencher, instead of by heart. Give a quarter to tzedakah every day. Learn 5 minutes of Chofetz Chaim before you go to bed at night. These are simple things that will get your mind thinking about Torah growth. They will not make you a tzaddik overnight, but of course, you cannot become a tzaddik overnight. It is impossible.

I'll be in touch with more suggestions in terms of this plan - until next time, think about what you want to work on, and something feasible that you can do to improve yourself. Nothing huge, just simple, so you can tell HKBH on Yom Kippur "Look! I have a real plan for doing Teshuva!"

apologies

sincere apologies to those who have been trying to follow the blog - i have been trying to set up my internet connection for two weeks, and it's still not set up yet. iyH as soon as the connection is complete I will be blogging every day. Until then, thanks for your patience.

A Guest at Home

11 Elul

We say in L'Dovid Hashem Ori every day through Hoshana Raba:

"Shivti B'Veis Hashem Col Yimei Chayai... U'Levaker B'Heichalo"
Dovid HaMelech is asking HKBH to allow him to "live in the house of Hashem all the days of his life... and to visit His house."


You do not have to be a Rhodes scholar to see the contradiction. How in the world does Dovid expect to be both living in Hashem's house and visiting it? By definition, a visitor does not live in the place he visits.

R' Mirsky in Hegyonei Halacha explains as follows: really, Dovid wanted to live in Hashem's house. That is the ultimate experience - dwelling in HKBH's, uh, dwelling. But the same routine can become stale. Dovid is afraid of his religion becoming routine. Therefore, he asks for the newness of a visitor, the excitement of a houseguest to keep his connection to HKBH fresh. That's the dual concept of being a guest in your own home.

iyH our own Yiddishkeit should be filled with newness and excitement.

Food for Thought

9 Elul

The same phrase in English and Hebrew has very different connotations.

In English, we say "last but not least."
In Hebrew, we say "acharon acharon chaviv," or "last is most important."

What does the difference between these phrases indicate about the different cultures (Western and Jewish?) I'll tell you what I think in a later blog. B'Hatzlacha.

Elul Acronyms

3 Elul

Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li
Mishloach Manos Ish L'Re'ehu U'Matanos L'Evyonim

I know it works out a little better with the Hebrew, but these are two of the acronyms that Elul (Alef Lamed Vav Lamed) comes out to.

The first one, Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li, comes from a pasuk in Shir HaShirim, where Shlomo HaMelech explains the relationship that he has with HKBH. It is a level to strive for, where everything you do is for HKBH - I am to my Beloved, and my Beloved is to me. On such a level, HKBH reciprocates our love for Him back to us. This acronym highlights the bein adam l'makom aspect of Elul and Teshuva.

The second acronym is, naturally, from Purim. These are the two mitzvos that exist on Purim bein adam l'chavero - Mishloach Manos (sending food gifts) and Matanos L'Evyonim (giving tzedaka). This acronym highlights the bein adam l'chaveiro aspect of Elul and Teshuva.

It seems to me that people are generally excellent in one of the above areas. You may disagree, but many of the people I meet excel in one but not the other. One Jew may be incredibly devout in their beliefs and medakdek (careful) in their mitzvos, but they may be lacking a little in their manners or their interactions with others. Another Jew may be the nicest guy in the world, but he'll slack off a little in terms of his bein adam l'makom observance.

We have to be able to grow in both areas. We cannot solely focus on one aspect of Yiddishkeit - there were two sides to the Luchos, two realms of mitzvos which we must master. iy"H if we put in our efforts in both areas, we will be matzliach.

Maharal's Concept of Time

2 Elul

We normally think of time as a fixed entity - time passes us by. We stroll through the week and the days come and go, checking off each passing day on the calendar. In actuality, says the Maharal (a great Rav in Prague, circa 1550), we pass through time. You heard me right - time is fixed, and we pass through it.

What exactly does that mean, you say? Well, it means that there are certain qualities to each time of the year, and they repeat themselves every single year. Take Nissan, for example. We think of Nissan as Zman Cheiruteinu, the time of our freedom, because the Jews left Egypt in Nissan. In reality, the opposite is true. Bnei Yisrael left Egypt in Nissan because the quality of Nissan was Cheirus. The time for freedom was ripe during Nissan, therefore Bnei Yisrael left. The cause of Yetzias Mitzrayim taking place in Nissan was the Cheirus aspect of the month of Nissan.

If all of the months of the year have different qualities to them, what is Elul's theme? Just like we solved Nissan's theme through the Chumash, we can do the same for Elul, as well. What happened during Elul?

Moshe Rabbeinu spent 40 days on Har Sinai three times - once to get the 1st Luchos, once to beg forgiveness for the Cheit HaEgel, and once to get the 2nd Luchos. It was the last of those 40 days, the trip to get the 2nd Luchos, that spanned all of Elul and the first 10 days of Tishrei (culminating on Yom Kippur when Moshe brought the 2nd Luchos down to Bnei Yisrael).

Therefore, Elul is all about second chances. We messed up during the year, but now we have a real chance to make amends. We have a God-aided 2nd chance, a second wind to improve on our actions of the past. With HKBH's help, we will be able to improve on the past year during coming month, as HKBH is close to all who call to him (as mentioned in Ashrei).

Teshuva & Batman

1 Elul

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me."
- Batman
Batman Begins

I think it's a reasonable assumption that if you're reading this blog, you are interested in doing Teshuva. You might even have a certain mitzvah picked out, something special that you're hoping to work on. If you do, great. Wonderful. Fabulous. Buy yourself some ice cream - you're on your way.

The trick is, now, to put that plan into action. It's not enough to simply have good intentions. I would venture to say that most people want to do Teshuva, want to get closer to God. But there's a huge difference between wanting to do Teshuva and actually doing it. It's not who you are underneath, but what you DO that defines you.

Now, don't get me wrong - wanting to do Teshuva is great and should certainly be commended. Both the Malbim & the Be'er Mayim Chayim point out in last week's parsha (Re'eh, 11:28) that we get points for simply wanting to perform mitzvos, as opposed to aveiros which we get punished for only after we do them, chas veshalom. But in terms of Teshuva, the real deal is actually going ahead and DOING it.

Like Batman says, it only counts if you DO it. You could be the greatest guy/gal in the world, but if you stop short of acting, you're missing the boat. Sit down, pick a mitzvah that's within your grasp, and DO it. Don't be too esoteric - like, "daven better" - pick ONE mitzvah and work on it. With HKBH's help, this ONE step will start us on the right path towards the Yamim Noraim and a Ksiva VeChasima Tova.

WHICH MITZVAH ARE YOU PICKING? (I'm starting with Modim in Shemonah Esrey)

Intro

ONE.
- The loneliest number, according to Harry Nilsson.
- The number of Shabbosim until we'll all be free, according to Avraham Fried.
- The amount of extra mitzvos, per day, this blog is asking you to do.

Welcome to A Time for Teshuva, a blog dedicated to helping Klal Yisrael in their quest to grow in Yiddishkeit. We recognize the enormous task that every single Jew faces - and we're trying to lend a helping hand. Here you'll find anecdotes, stories, and a bit of insipriation to keep growing, to keep fighting to get closer to God.

This blog encourages the reader to perform ONE extra mitzvah a day, in an effort to gain favor in the eyes of HKB"H, in an effort to reach towards Him, to embark on the journey that is Teshuva. Judaism is a derech, a path of life, not just a religion. In order to travel down the entire path, we must first take ONE step. Pick something to improve on. Do it every single day, yehareig v'al ya'avor.

This step will vary for Jews on different levels. For one person, it will involve eating an entirely kosher meal. For another, it will be wearing Tzitzis all day. For a third, it means learning five extra minutes of morning seder. For a fourth, it means focusing even harder on Davening. Every Jew has his/her own set of challenges. (We'll talk about this more later, but if you're interested in some great reading check out R' Akiva Tatz's "A Thinking Jewish Teenager's Guide to Life" and the first chapter there about different levels)

I leave you to ponder what your challenges are. Share it with us. What is a particularly challenging realm of Judaism for you? Discuss it, anonymously if you want. Perhaps others with the same problem will see that they are not alone in their struggles. They will be fortified to know that they are not a single warrior. Rather, there is a whole army out there, fighting together as ONE.

Daily posts will begin, iyH, on Rosh Chodesh Elul.