When we daven on Yom Kippur, we sincerely tell HKBH that we want to do teshuva. We want to grow, we want to change, we want to do more mitzvot. Yet, right after all those "al-cheit"s, we go back to doing the same aveiros again and again. Why?
Perhaps the answer lies in an idea discussed by R' Yisrael Salanter. He explains that most people try to do Teshuva all at once. People sincerely feel remorseful, they want to change, and they take upon themselves way too many things. They try to snap their fingers and change overnight, and that's not how to do teshuva.
Teshuva is a long process. We cannot change ourselves overnight - Yom Kippur is not a mikveh where we jump in, jump out, and we're completely tahor. We are forgiven for our past sins, iyH, but we will continue to do them if we do not PLAN for the future.
As such, R' Yisrael Salanter suggests that we make a plan of action. Take 3-5 things, small things, things that you can easily accomplish, and do them every single day. Call your mom, if you're not at home. Bench with a bencher, instead of by heart. Give a quarter to tzedakah every day. Learn 5 minutes of Chofetz Chaim before you go to bed at night. These are simple things that will get your mind thinking about Torah growth. They will not make you a tzaddik overnight, but of course, you cannot become a tzaddik overnight. It is impossible.
I'll be in touch with more suggestions in terms of this plan - until next time, think about what you want to work on, and something feasible that you can do to improve yourself. Nothing huge, just simple, so you can tell HKBH on Yom Kippur "Look! I have a real plan for doing Teshuva!"
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2 comments:
I have heard this idea expresed before, but I still find it difficult. After all, how can I stand and say the "al chets" having in mind that I'm not actually going to try to change this one or that one? After all, tshuva and viduy require kabala la'atid. Can that be divided up into practical ones and impractical ones?
Practically, how could one apply this idea?
Certainly, one has to have a "kabala l'atid." But who said that the kabala has to be "I will never do anything like this again"? Perhaps all HKBH is looking for is a practical and legitimate approach to teshuva in general? I don't believe we can work on every single one of the al-chets at once, at least not at the beginning. Instead, have a plan of changing one or two at a time, do that for a few months, and then move on to another.
I don't think you can divide the practical from the impractical, because everything can be worked on in some form or another, everything is theoretically practical. Take stealing, for example. Chas Veshalom that we would take money from someone else. But would you borrow a pen for a minute, if you weren't sure they wanted to lend it to you? Using that ink is a small form of stealing - couldn't we be more careful to ask people before we borrow things? That would be a tikkun of stealing, something practical that would help. There are a million such examples. Working on one small area of a middah awakens our minds to the other areas, as well, because we're thinking about the middah all the time. Hatzlacha Raba!
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