The Yetzer Hara's trap

5 Tishrei

Disclaimer - the following is just a bit of musing on my part, not necessarily related to Torah sources. Merely what I perceive to be true.

Nowadays, it appears to me that we don't really have ta'avahs (strong desires) to do terrible aveiros. I don't really want to kill anyone. I don't deliberately want to violate Shabbos (I may violate it because of my own ignorance, chas veshalom, but I definitely don't WANT to violate it). I don't want to bow down to Buddha or what-have-you. I don't feel a great need to kidnap anybody.

It seems to me that the ta'avah to violate many of the severe aveiros is gone, at least in my experience. The Yetzer Hara to perform these mitzvos has, well, lessened, if you will. It would be ludicrous for the Yetzer Hara to try to convince me to bow down to a cow, for example, like the Hindus. Baruch Hashem. Yes, there are certainly aveiros for which I have a great ta'avah for. But it seems that many of the aveiros chamuros, the severe sins, are not as appealing anymore.

But what does the Yetzer Hara do nowadays that he probably didn't need to do back in the day? The Yetzer Hara is GREAT at making us feel lousy about ourselves, at attacking our self-esteem. He makes us feel like we don't matter, and that we don't have to keep halacha because, on the grand scheme of things, we don't matter. He has a great ability to convince us NOT to do mitzvos.

Our self-esteem is very important. Very often it gets a bad rap - in the mussar sefarim, for example, a lot is written about avoiding ga'avah (pride) and kavod (honor). Humble yourselves, write the gedolim, and therefore serve Hashem. While this is definitely true and a great lesson, it is important not to lose focus - humility does not mean degrading yourself to feel like you are nothing. Humility, in the words of the Ramban, is recognizing how great you are, but also WHY you are great - because HKBH makes you great. Humility is a great violinist realizing that his talent is not his own, but Hashem's.

We often feel so bad about ourselves that we avoid mitzvos - what's the point? I'm just a bum anyway, who cares whether I learn my five-minute mussar chavrusa over the phone? I don't have to do shnayim mikrah, i never finish it anyway, so who cares? NO! That is the Yetzer Hara, trying to make us lose all self-confidence!

Keep your self-esteem, recognize your gifts - just realize Who they came from. We are all incredibly special people, and every mitzvah we do helps us get closer to HKBH. Col Yisrael Araivim Zeh LaZeh - each mitzvah we do helps everyone else! Be excited about your own specialness, and fight off that lack of self-esteem that the Yetzer Hara is planting within you. Hatzlacha Raba!