What Davening is Not

8 Elul 5770


If it's looking like there's a theme to this year's posts, it's purely by coincidence. But it is important, I guess, to define basic concepts before going on to more difficult ideas.

Perhaps the most misunderstood concept in Judaism is Davening. Most people think of Davening as "Prayer." After all, that's how we've been translating it for decades. The problem is that the word "prayer" gives off the wrong connotations - in fact, almost pagan connotations.

Thinking of Davening as "Prayer" implies that you're begging God for something. And if you don't tell Him about it, you won't get it, because He won't know what you want. It's much better to pray in a minyan, because the more people storm the heavens with their grovelling, the more likely it is that God will listen. After all, He probably won't care about you all by yourself, but if enough people inform Him they want something, He might change His mind. And by the way, who in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks do you think you are, asking God for stuff? He's freaking G-o-d; if He wanted something to happen, He would do it. If He decided to make someone sick, what, just because you ask Him, He's going to change his mind? He already decided to make them sick! What are you trying to accomplish, begging God to heal this person?


And if I don't tell God about what I want - which, by the way, happens to be the exact same thing, three times a day, every day - I won't get it. Sure, I couldn't care less about having Jewish judges, or bringing the lineage of David back to the throne of Israel - but I'll throw it in there just for kicks, just to make sure God likes me and will listen to my pleading for a livelihood.

Sound familiar, right?

I bet you're feeling a little meek right now. Maybe a little red in the face. Because that's how most of us view davening. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY MOST OF US HATE IT. What, you want me to beg for stuff from a God Who won't end up telling me whether I'm going to get it or not? And what do I need half this stuff for? Of the nineteen brachos in Shemonah Esrei, how many do you actually relate to? Eight? Ten? Twelve max, and if you think it's more, you're lying to yourself.

Think about it. The above definition of Davening is ridiculous. God knows all. He is all-powerful. He doesn't need us to inform Him of our desires. He knows our innermost thoughts and feelings. In fact, the whole concept of prescribed prayer is ridiculous if you think of davening as begging. What, the rabbis need to script my prayer? I know what I need - what do I need to use a siddur for?

That last line is the key; remember it and we'll come back to it. By now you've probably realized that Davening is not Praying, and that God does not need to hear our tefillos to know what we want. But then, who are our tefillos for? What IS davening?

Regarding this most basic question, I was enlightened by Rav Binny Freidman and Rav David Aaron of Isralight and Orayta.

The Hebrew word for "to daven" is להתפלל. If you know a little about Hebrew grammar (and I don't, really), that word is in the reflexive form - hitpa'el. This is key - words in that hitpa'el form mean to do something to yourself. It is reflexive - the doer is doing an action to his or herself.

Now, the verb in question here is פלל. What does that word mean? Going back to the first time we see that word - Yaakov Avinu uses it when he is about to bless Yosef's sons in Parshas Vayechi. After twenty-two years of being apart, Yaakov says ראה פניך לא פללתי. I did not "pilel" to see your face. What does pilel mean?

Rashi defines "Pilel" as (using Artscroll Rashi English translation): My heart did not fill me to think the thought. The word "pilalti" denotes "thinking," like the verse, "produce an idea, do some thinking."

Therefore, the word "pilel" means to think. In reflexive tense, you do something to yourself, so the word "להתפלל" means "to think about yourself."

And, by now, the meaning of Davening should start to become clearer. If God doesn't need to know about what we want, because He is all-knowing, why are we saying it?

The answer is: of course God doesn't need to hear it. We need to hear it. This is what we should be doing when we pray - thinking about ourselves. Do I really want to see Yerushalayim and the Beis HaMikdash rebuilt? That is a seriously intraspective question. If the answer is no, why not? Do we care about having Jewish judges? If we don't, why not? And on and on and on. The Anshei Kneses HaGedolah set up nineteen brachos, nineteen basic spiritual tenets that we should think about every time we daven.

Finally we can begin to understand how some people take five, ten, even fifteen minutes to say Shemonah Esrei. They're not begging God with all their hearts - they're thinking about their own hearts and what they should want from God.

Since this is a difficult and perhaps provocative redefinition of Davening, I'll let you guys ask questions about anything I may have left out or left unexplained. Then I'll continue next week and hopefully answer those grey areas. Ask away!

Hatzlacha Raba!