K'siva V'Chasima Tova!

29 Elul 5768

Chazal explain there are two conflicting emotions of Rosh HaShana. On the one hand, we are being judged for whole next year, a thought that is quite terrifying. On the other hand, we are Hashem's Children, his People - we are supposed to be confident that He will recognize our attempts at Teshuva, our acceptance of Him as our King. These are conflicting feelings, no doubt, and they are emulated by the two aspects of the day - we daven until after midday, but then we go home and eat a festive meal.

These two aspects illustrate the theme of Rosh HaShana. Most people feel that Rosh HaShana is all about Teshuva. Yet there is very little mention of Teshuva in the tefillos of Rosh HaShana. Rather, the focus is on Malchus - accepting Hashem as our King, as the One who rules us, as the One who dictates our thoughts and our lives. You don't repeat your tefillos if you leave out "Teshuva, Tefillah, & Tzedakah." You do repeat, however, if you miss "HaMelech HaKadosh." We are accepting Hashem as our Ruler, and we are accepting His Torah as our way of life.

And this is what creates two different emotions. On the one hand, Hashem is All-Powerful, a King who will literally decide every aspect of our lives for the upcoming year. On the other hand, He is our King. We are the ones who are able to daven to Him on Rosh HaShana, only Bnei Yisrael are able to pray with the power that we have. I recently picked up an Israeli on a tremp, and he pointed out that Hashem first answers the tefillos of Bnei Yisrael and determines their lot, and only then does He dish out judgment for the rest of the nations, based on what Bnei Yisrael warrant. This is our zechus, this is our priviledge.

Wishing you a k'siva v'chasima Tova!!!

The Power of Prayer

24 Elul 5768

Very few of us appreciate the power of prayer. Let's schmooze about it for a moment.

Our relationship with tefillah is very similar to our relationship with one of those schnorrers on the streets of Meah Shearim – most of us pass right by, too busy to notice. Some of us stop, annoyed, and pull a few agurot from our pockets. Very few of us take out even a shekel, and even fewer of us take the time to say “Hatzlacha Rabbah,” or to even show a true sense of concern.

The reason we don’t show enough concern with our tefillos is because we don’t understand how powerful they are. Shimon HaTzaddik tells us in פרקי אבות א:ב that the world exists for three things – תורה, עבודה, וגמילות חסדים. Nowadays, we do not have עבודה (i.e. the sacrifices in the Beis HaMikdash). What is the substitute? So the gemara tells us in Brachos that our tefillos are substitutes for עבודה in Beis HaMikdash. They literally keep the world going.

Now, that’s very fluffy. Does that mean if you sleep through Shacharis the world is going to disappear, and it’ll be your fault? Well, maybe. And if that happens I’ll be the first to track you down in the next world and punch you in the face. But let’s talk about something that speaks to us.

There’s a very famous פסוק in Chumash, when Yaakov appears before Yitzchak wearing sheepskins on his arms, pretending to be עשו. The פסוק tells us that Yitzchak, in his confusion, said: הקול קול יעקב והידים ידי עשו.

That, say Chazal, was not just some off-the-cuff comment that Yitzchak made. Those words tell us how we can impact the world. Those words tell us what our weapons are when we go out to battle – literally and figuratively. We spoke about our weapons to fight the Yetzer Hara – tefillah is our weapon in every other realm of life.

What does prayer do? I used to think that prayer was for Hashem – we were blessing Him when we said “Baruch Atah Hashem.” Little did I know that this is what people call heresy (apikorsus). If we have to bless Hashem, that means He is less than infinite – He can gain from us. Which is ridiculous – He is all-powerful, all-worldly – he does not need our blessings. So if prayer does not impact Him, who does it impact?

Clearly the answer is us. We have what to gain from prayer. Prayer increases our awareness that we are dependant upon Hashem for everything. But where does that get us? So we recognize what Hashem does in this world. What does that do for us? That’s going to make us a better warrior? That’s going to improve my income the following year? That's going to make my relative feel better?

The answer is: YES. The רמבן at the end of בא writes that the whole purpose of creation is to: a) know Hashem runs the world, and b) to thank Him for it. So when we internalize that Hashem runs every single aspect of our lives, we grow closer to that goal. We become better people. More of our actions are performed לשם שמים. When more of our actions are performed לשם שמים, we become holier. When we become holier, Hashem is more likely to answer our tefillos in a more immediate fashion, even if they are the straight, generic nineteen ברכות of שמונה עשרה.

There many stories throughout תנ"ך that demonstrate this perfectly. One of this is the following: when בנ"י encountered עמלק right after they left מצרים, what happened? Moshe went up on the mountain to pray, and the פסוק tells us that whenever his hands were lifted in prayer, בנ"י were victorious. Whenever his hands became heavy and fell back down, עמלק started winning. What in the world does that mean? Some קישוף, some hocus pocus? So רש"י there brings down the גמ' in ר"ה – I wonder why this גמ' is there – that says that whenever בנ"י would look towards Shamayim, they would realize that Hashem runs the world, and they would start winning. Whenever they looked away from Shamayim, i.e. they started relying on their own “might,” they started losing.

This is what tefillah does, this is how it helps us. This is how we can use the tefillos on Rosh HaShana – they’re long, no doubt – but we can use them to our advantage. They can impact us, and when Hashem sees that we’re trying, He will give us siyata d’shmaya, and guide us along His path.

הצלחה רבה!

Selichos

22 Elul 5768

The ר"ן asks a very simple question: Why is ראש השנה the יום הדין? He comes up with two different answers:
1) Chazal tell us that Adam HaRishon was judged for eating from the עץ הדעת on the first day of the seventh month, which is Tishrei. Since that day was used as a יום הדין that very first time, it was established for generations as the day Hashem would judge us.
2) When בנ"י sinned with the Golden Calf, משה רבינו went up to Har Sinai to daven for us. Those 40 days of tefillah spanned all of Chodesh Elul and the first ten days of Tishrei, culminating on Yom Kippur. That forgiveness was sealed on Yom Kippur, but Hashem began forgiving us on Rosh HaShana.

This is the basis for the two minhagim of when to start Selichos. The Sefardim start from Rosh Chodesh Elul - after all, that was the first day Moshe davened on Har Sinai, that was the first day of the teshuva process. Ashkenazim start Selichos a week or so before Rosh HaShana, aligning themselves with the few days before Adam's sin, when the world existed without sin.

Whatever your minhag, Selichos can be tough. You have to stay up until 12:30 at night, or get up a half hour before davening to say a lot of Hebrew words you don't understand. What is the point? Wouldn't it just be better to take five minutes in the middle of the day and say some prayers in English?

While there may be many answers to this, I think that one of them is the following: Selichos shows Hashem that we're willing to go the extra mile to secure our forgiveness. We're putting in that little extra effort that says, Hashem, look! I'm trying! I know I had my ups and downs last year, but I really want to stay up! I really want this relationship between you and me to work out, and I'm doing something unusual to prove it to you!

להבדיל, it's like the husband who goes out of his way to get flowers for his wife after a long fight. Sure, these flowers are being sold out on Long Island somewhere, and they cost a little extra, and they're a little more bulky to shlep into the car - but the wife looks at all the extra effort and says, hey, you really do care! She doesn't care that there are twenty-four roses or thirty-six roses. It's the effort she looks at. So too for us - it's not so much about the Selichos as it is about showing Hashem you'll do anything to prove your dedication.

Now, don't get me wrong, the Selichos are important - it doesn't work just to stay up until 12:30am and do nothing. The Selichos are a valuable way to prepare for the יום הדין. But if you're getting depressed or upset that you're not getting the whole meaning from the Selichos, take solace - your effort in saying them is getting you much more than you realize.

הצלחה רבה!

Talkin' to the Boss II

17 Elul 5768

We mentioned yesterday that one method of improving our כונה during Shemonah Esrei is to pause at the beginning of davening, to think about Whom we're standing in front of, and then continuing on with our tefillah.

How do we maintain this thought throughout the Shemoneh Esrei?

Insipration does not last. We get excited at the beginning of a project, we get pumped for the first few games of football season, we get ready to serve Hashem better at the beginning of each year. But very soon afterwards, the project becomes a chore. Football gets boring after our team loses a few games. Soon after the Yomim Tovim we start reverting to our old yiddishkeit habits. How do we continue our mindset throughout the four, five, six minutes of Shemoneh Esrei?

The answer lies within the Shemoneh Esrei itself. Built into each of the nineteen brachos (weird, I know) is a way to remember לפני מי אתה עומד - the words ברוך אתה at the end. Every time we say "YOU are the source of all blessing," we can take a moment to remind ourselves that we're actually speaking to the Boss Himself. That mindset can last us at least until the next bracha, where we have another reminder waiting for us. That is how we can maintain kavana and focus throughout the whole tefillah. May our prayers be that much stronger, and may they be answered that much more speedily. (I know it's lousy English, but you get the point)

הצלחה רבה!

Talkin' to the Boss

16 Elul 5768

In this day and age, we need things to be fast. Fast cars, fast internet, fast food. We have blackberries to make sure we get emails the moment they come into our inbox. We have cellphones in case we (chas veshalom) aren't at home to field a call. We can order food to our doorstep, all the while getting upset if it doesn't come within the half hour.

Unfortunately, this attitude often seeps into our davening. Very often we'll rush through things, not because we don't want to have kavana, but because we're used to things moving at a quick pace. They guy who finishes the quickest Shemoneh Esrei doesn't do so because he thinks that's the best way to daven - he does so because he's accustomed to doing things quickly in his life.

It is important to take a moment and think about the davening. But not only about what you're going to say, but to Whom you're saying them. When we daven, the world around us melts, and we're left in a big blue room with you and HKB"H (at least that's how I picture it). If we would only think about this for a moment, I guarantee our davening would be totally different.

So the next time you daven, try it. As soon as you take those three steps forward, wait. Don't start ה' שפתי תפתח. It'll be weird, but hear me out. Think about the fact that you are talking, one on one, with the Boss. If you took five seconds and thought about that frightening reality, I would hope to think your words would come out different.

But don't get discouraged - the Boss isn't as frightening as He might seem. Think about this also: despite the fact that HKB"H runs the entire world at every single moment, He still pays attention to every single thing you do. What a wonderful thought! The Guy who runs the whole freaking world cares about little old me? Yes He does - he cares about everything about you. So be encouraged - He's waiting for your tefillos!

הצלחה רבה!

Old-School Weaponry

15 Elul 5768

Sorry for the delay, had a busy weekend.

Okay, so we know how the Yetzer Hara attacks us - with כפירה, גאוה, and תאוה. How do we fight him? How do we defend ourselves against these three weapons?

I'm not going to tell you anything new, just that Jews have been fighting the Yetzer Hara with these defenses since the beginning of creation. So don't feel afraid or alone when you battle - you're part of a greater whole, a greater כלל.

The way to fight כפירה is, not surprisingly, to learn Torah. If you know the halachos cold, there's less of a chance the Yetzer Hara will be able to say, "Come on, that's not really assur." You'll be able to say back, "No! It is assur! I learned it last week, I know the halachos." There's a smaller window for the Yetzer Hara to pull shtick, because you know what the issur/mitzvah is and you know the punishment or reward.

The way to fight גאוה and תאוה is to learn mussar, to work on our middos. Now, this doesn't mean that you should just read Mesillas Yesharim and you'll be fine. Don't get me wrong, that's great, but "learning mussar" means a lot more than that. It means sitting down, thinking about what you need to work on, and working on it. Let's discuss how to do this.

First off, choose two things that you want to work on. Not more, you will lose focus that way. They should be specific, not general. For example, don't choose "I want to daven Shemoneh Esrei better." Choose "I want to work on מודים." The reason for this is twofold: One, you'll be more alerted to a focused goal than on a broader one. Second, and more important, it's much easier for the Yezter Hara to stop us from performing a broad goal than it is for him to stop a short, quick goal. If your goal is Shemoneh Esrei, it's easier for the Yezter Hara to say, "Eh, breeze through the first few brachos, you'll still concentrate on the last few." But if you're focusing on Modim specifically, then you don't have another option later on - it's a specific goal, right now, without any way of getting around it.

Anyway, pick two middos. Got them? Good. Share them if you want (I'm saying Bircas HaMazon with a bencher and trying to learn Chofetz Chaim 5 minutes before I go to bed). Now, after you've shared them, WRITE THEM DOWN. Make a chart, and check off each time you accomplish your goals. For example, if you're working on מודים, you should have three sections a day, one for each Shemoneh Esrei. Check off when you have extra כונה, and leave it blank when you don't.

Why should you write it down? Because that way the Yetzer Hara can't get you depressed. He can't convince you that you're not succeeding when you really are (he's very good at that, see earlier post titled The Yetzer Hara's trap). When the Yetzer Hara tries to get you to feel down about yourself, you'll be able to point to the sheet and say, "Hey, I'm doing well here!" You'll be able to chart your progress, and feel good about yourself. That's one of the most important parts to the whole process, because simcha leads to דביקות בהקב"ה.

After two weeks, check out your sheet. Are you succeeding in your goals? Have the middos become second nature to you to the point where you have check marks every single day? If that's the case, great. Pick another middah or two, and start all over again. This is how we can live all our lives in true dedication to perfecting ourselves and our character traits.

May Hashem grant us סייעתא דשמיא and guide us along His path.

Next time, we'll discuss a bit about how we can improve our Tefillos. Until then, הצלחה רבה!

The Yetzer Hara's Offensive Gameplan

11 Elul 5768

In order to fight our enemy, we have to know how he operates. A nation does not go to war without reconnaissance on the enemy. A football team does not show up on Sunday without a detailed game plan. So let's figure out how the Yetzer Hara works, and then we will be able to fight him.

The first time the Yetzer Hara appears in Chumash tells us a lot about how he operates. Let's analyze the first interaction between the Yetzer Hara and man - the Nachash's seduction of Chavah. Instead of typing up the five or six psukim, I'll ask you to grab a Chumash and follow along if you can:

The first thing the Yetzer Hara does when he's trying to get us to sin is this: He says, "Okay, what halacha are we dealing with here?" He's no fool; he knows you are a frum Jew. So he begins with something easy - what can't you do, and what is the punishment if you disobey? The Nachash asked Chavah to delineate the halachos of eating from the עץ הדעת, and she complied, listing off the issur of not eating and the punishment (death). This was her first mistake - she shouldn't even have gotten into a conversation with the Yetzer Hara. But if we do find ourselves in a conversation, in the throes of battle, we must win.

Think about an aveirah that you struggle with considerably. Got it? Good. Think about the process you go through when you commit this sin, and keep it in mind throughout the next few paragraphs. Let's see the Yetzer Hara's three strategies:

1) כפירה - We all have that little bit of כפירה inside of us. We disregard what we know from the Torah. The Yetzer Hara tries to rationalize for us right before we sin: "Oh, it's not really assur," or "That's not the real punishment," or my personal favorite, "Eh, it's only דרבנן." (Other examples of דרבנן's - Chanuka candles, Megillah, Muktzah, having a סעודה on Shabbos - we keep those, don't we?) The Yetzer Hara is very good at this tactic, and this is his first attack. We see this from where the Nachash tells Chavah "לא מות תמותון" - you aren't really going to die! Chavah had just said one pasuk earlier that the punishment for eating from the tree was death. The first thing the Nachash did was knock it down a bit - otherwise, there was no way Chavah was going to sin. Death? For a piece of fruit? I don't think so. But if the punishment is not death, then we can start talking.

2) גאוה - We all have a bit of arrogance when we're about to sin. We all think, "Who is Hashem to tell me what to do? I want to do this aveirah! I don't care that He made it assur!" This is what the Yetzer Hara is whispering to us, and this is what he said to Chavah. והייתם כאלקים יודעי טוב ורע - if you eat this fruit, you will be just like God. He made the rule not to eat this fruit, and I made the rule that allows me to eat it. We all think that we're on par with Hashem, that we can disobey His laws without giving it a second thought.

3) תאוה - Right before each sin, the Yetzer Hara shines up that aveirah real nice and somehow gives us an extra desire for it. We're not thinking about the cheeseburger until right before we're challenged not to eat it. We're not thinking about the woman (hopefully) before she walks by in a tank-top and a skirt that looks like a belt. But right before we are challenged, we all get a strong desire to sin. (Notice that if you resist the temptation, this desire to sin usually leaves soon afterwards.) The pasuk says this straight up - ותרא האשה כי טוב העץ למאכל וכי תאוה הוא לעינים. Chavah had a desire for the fruit which did not exist until she was right about to sin.

These are the three tactics the Yetzer Hara uses. Watch out for them. Know they're coming. Tomorrow we'll discuss how to counteract them.

הצלחה רבה!

Fighting the Yetzer Hara

10 Elul 5768

I would venture to guess that you want to do Teshuva. After all, that's why you're reading this blog. The one thing standing in your way, however, is the Yetzer Hara. Let us study how to fight him.

Step One is acknowledging the constant battle. Most Jews do not even realize there is a fight raging inside of them at every moment of the day. Whether to get up for minyan, or whether to sleep in a few more minutes. Whether to wait the full six hours between meat and milk (if that's your minhag), or to cheat some ice cream at five and a half hours. Whether to say the lashon hara, or to keep it to yourself. There are a million examples. Every moment, every decision, every thought - everything is a battle between the Yetzer Tov and the Yetzer Hara.

Once we are sensitive to this, once we realize that a battle is indeed being fought, then we can continue to the battlefront.

The Torah tells us at the beginning of this week's Parsha:
כי חצא למלחמה על אויבך ונתנו ה' אלקיך בידך ושבית שביו
When you go out to war, Hashem will give your enemy over to you, and you will take a captive.

The Chafetz Chaim comments famously that this pasuk is alluding to the war against the Yetzer Hara (it is no coincidence we read this Parsha every Elul). כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך - when you go out to battle against your personal enemy, the Yetzer Hara - ונתנו ה' אלקיך בידך ןשבית שביו - Hashem will give him over to you, and you will be succeessful in that battle . This pasuk is a promise from Hashem: if we go out to battle the Yetzer Hara, we will receive סייעתא דשמיא, help from Above, and we will defeat him.

How encouraging is this pasuk! Hashem says that He will help us if we merely go out to battle! Not if we do XYZ mitzvos, or refrain from ABC aveiros. All we have to do to merit Divine assistance is just go out there. Try. Fight. Struggle in battle. You don't even have to succeed, necessarily. Although success will not be far behind.
There is a similar statement of Chazal: בדרך שאדם רוצה לילך, מוליכין אותו. In the path that a person wishes to travel, Hashem takes him down that path. That means the following: if a person wants to grow, Hashem will help him. And if a person wants to go downwards, chas veshalom, Hashem will also "help" him. It all depends on where a person wants to go.
Here, too, all a person has to do to merit Divine help is want to grow. And Hashem will help him.

Wanting to move in the right direction is Step Two. Like I said before, if you're reading this blog, you have already accomplished this step. So feel good about yourself! One of the terrible tricks of the Yetzer Hara is his incredible ability to make us feel depressed. We'll talk about this at a later time, but don't get down! You're already on the right path, and Hashem is already giving you סייעתא דשמיא.

Next time we'll discuss how to fight the Yetzer Hara. While many people do not realize they're constantly fighting the Yetzer Hara, many others do not realize how to fight him. We'll tackle that tomorrow, so stay tuned.

One last thing - if you have any topics you'd like me to discuss, PLEASE post it below. First off, it is therapudic for a reader to hear that he/she is not alone in struggling with a particular area of halacha. Second, while I do have what to say, we're hopefully going to take this all the way to Hoshana Rabba, and I'd love to discuss topics that people need to get chizuk in. So feel free to post, anonymously if you wish.

הצלחה רבה!

Back in Business

8 Elul 5768

For those of you who followed this blog last year, I welcome you back. For those who are new, I invite you to browse last year's posts as well as this year's. And all are encouraged to comment on each day's vort if you feel so inclined.

Okay, ready to rumble! Elul is here, and that means it's once again A Time for Teshuva. As the Maharal explains, each of the months of the year have a different quality to them - Nissan, for example, has the quality of cheirus, freedom. Elul, then, certainly has the quality of Teshuva, of second chances - after all, Moshe spent all of Elul on Har Sinai begging Hashem to forgive Bnei Yisrael for the Golden Calf. (For a bit more elaboration, check out the post titled "The Maharal's Concept of Time")

The point of this blog, then, is to help the reader along his/her journey towards real and complete Teshuva. Some people are able to do Teshuva on their own, while others find that it's easier when you have a bit of a support group. This blog will hopefully fill that role, to enable those who read it to discuss their feelings and thoughts in an anonymous setting, to grow without feeling embarrassed about one's own sins.

(Side note - one should never feel embarrassed that they allowed the Yetzer Hara to get the best of them. After all, his whole job - no, his whole existence - is to get us to sin. So you'd imagine he's pretty good at it. We'll talk more about the Yetzer Hara as we go along. But don't be depressed just because you got tripped up a couple times by the dirtiest player in the game).

Share this with your friends, or keep the tidbits to yourself. Either way, grow. Climb. Reach for the top. Set aside a few moments each day, devoted to just thinking about Teshuva. Exerting even the tiniest effort in this area will change your Elul experience into something that's incredibly meaningful. That way, we will be able show HKBH that we truly care about getting closer to Him, and iy"H He will accept us back with open arms.

השיבנו ה' אליך ונשובה